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Category: GeekPortland
Venue/Location: Hollywood Theater, 4122 N.E. Sandy Blvd, Phone: 503-493-1128
Dates:


Filmusik presents Turkish Star Wars

Admission: $12.00

The October 26th performance will be in Spanish

1980: in the chaotic aftermath of Turkey’s coup d’état. Western films disappeared from Turkish cinemas, leaving theatre marquees empty across the country…

1981: Audacious filmmakers went out to the deserts of Cappadocia with a truck full of costumes and a few cameras to re-create for Turkish audiences the most ambitious sci-fi film ever conceived. It’s really something.

2012: With the help of translators, musicians and sound designers, Filmusik brings the most intrepid remake ever filmed back to the screen, in English with an original soundtrack.

In October, Filmusik is putting on a performance of Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam, one of the most weird and wonderful films ever made. Filmusik will be creating sound for the film - including voice actors, composers, sound designers - and preforming the entire soundtrack live.

Turkish Star Wars (actual title of the 1982 picture: Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam or The Man Who Saves the World) is a mind-boggling film. No one does it like the Turks: This will give all those fanboys quibbling about the proper dialects of Wookie something to think about. These Wookies only speak Turkish, and they don’t even have time to do that because they are constantly getting slaughtered or running around with their arms hanging off the sides of their bloodied torsos.

Here are the top five differences between Turkish Star Wars and Star Wars:

1. Decapitations. By my count, Turkish Star Wars has 1,200 percent more decapitations than the entire American Star Wars canon. That’s a per-capita decapitation rate greater than Highlander, and that’s not even counting arms and legs.

2. Far more Quran references than the original trilogy, and a mosque fight scene with two golden ninjas.

3. The entire cantina band is replaced by what appears to be a fat man in a green wig and two fuzzy red space-bears.

4. The Death Star is explained as a “shield of compressed brain molecules surrounding the Earth.” It makes several appearances, but due to an improper understanding of aspect ratios, it seems to be more like a Death Egg.

5. According to our Foley artists (the live sound-effects performers), there are 336 punches, 119 kicks, 52 body falls, 31 saber strikes, 12 eye gouges, three bisections, four spanks, nine amputations and what appears to be labeled on the scripts as a “flying double amputation.”

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